038: How To Dress For A Wedding (As A Guest)

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Announcer: I'm Not A Gentleman is a production of chaceandryder.com.

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So two things that you're going to see the most at the wedding. You're going to see a lot of Navy suits with light brown shoes. And, uh, you also want to see a lot of cheap-looking light gray suits. With some ugly black shoes, like square-toe black shoes. Yeah. Those are staples at weddings. They wear them with a really dark-colored shirt.

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Maybe it's burgundy, maybe it's black or something like that. You know what I mean? So that's what you usually see at weddings. So of course I'm going to stand out even when I'm not trying to stand out. So I'm not saying you should go to a wedding and not dress well. Dressing well is a sign of respect. Just don't go there with the intention of outshining people because it's not your day. Yo, what up? Welcome to I'm Not A Gentleman, the show designed to help you look stylish.

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without following trends. I'm your host Vladimir Arrache from chaseandrider.com and your favorite menswear YouTuber's favorite menswear YouTuber. I've helped dozens of clients and hundreds of students and viewers feel more confident by looking their best and always making a great first impression.

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So as I'm recording this podcast, we are at the end of February. So we are about three weeks away from the start of spring, even though I love the fall and winter when it comes to menswear, but I am from the Caribbean. So we always look forward to the warmer weather as well. So with the warmer weather coming, it means that it's wedding season. I myself got married on March 18th, 2011. So we're definitely around that time of the year.

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to dress for a wedding as a guest. So this is exactly what we're going to be talking about in this episode. Entro.

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in that bag in that bag.

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Welcome to episode 38 of I'm Not A Gentleman, AKA the Kwame Brown episode. Yeah, I know I'm reaching a little bit. I couldn't really find anybody that rocked number 38, man. You know what I mean? So I actually have to look this one up. So Kwame Brown did wear number 38 when he played for the Pistons in the 2009-10 season. So this is not something that I had in my memory bank or anything like that. Definitely have to look that one up.

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So you're probably wondering, so this is an even number episode. How come it's not a wardrobe episode? And how come I didn't upload any episode this past Friday? To be honest with you, we just go and take a break on the wardrobe episodes. I thought it was going to be very valuable for the podcast and by the podcast, I mean to the listeners. But it was really a chore trying to find people to come on for the episodes.

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I was hoping that when I announced it that more people would be interested to come on, but that definitely was not the case. You know, it's all good though. It's something that I might bring back maybe when the podcast gets bigger, maybe more people want to come on at that time. But for now, I don't really feel like chasing people down to get them on the episode, you know what I mean?

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We're just going to keep on going with the regular solo episodes every week. And yeah, maybe I'll bring it back. The good news is if you are part of our membership, it will exist inside of the membership. We call it hot seats. It's the same idea except it'll be a half an hour. But as far as bringing it back for the podcast, maybe in the future. All right, let's get to the episode, man. But yeah, when it comes to weddings, a lot of guys, that's their time to shine.

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because they don't really get to wear a suit that often. So when that same the date comes, all they're thinking about is what they're going to wear to the wedding. And they use it as a big event where they have to flaunt their stuff. And I get it. A guy like me that gets to wear a suit all the time, a wedding is just a wedding. I go there to celebrate the couple. But for others, I can understand how a wedding could be something to look forward to. But at the same time, that's where a lot of mistakes happen.

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The goal of a wedding when you get invited is to go there and celebrate with the couple. But you're just a minor part of the wedding. It's not your wedding. So you shouldn't really go there with the idea that you're going to try to shine. But unfortunately, that's exactly what happens. And definitely one of my biggest bedpies. And I'm here to speak from experience. I have definitely attended some weddings where I thought that it was about me.

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So guilty as charged. I remember for my wedding, one of my friends, he wore a Prince of Wales suit. And we were talking after the wedding, maybe like a week later, and I was telling him how much of a nice suit that he had on. And he was like, man, I was a little bit skeptical about wearing that suit because, you know, a suit like that really stands out versus a solid color suit. I was like, nah, man, you crazy? You did your thing, fam. Like, you know, don't worry about that.

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It would have been different now if that were to happen. I mean, not that I would say anything to him about the suit, but at the same time, I wouldn't have told him that was a nice suit he had on for the wedding. Ha ha ha ha. Because to me, once again, when you go to a wedding, you should think how I'm going to fit in, not how I'm going to stand out. And that's one thing where I get some pushback about.

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A lot of guys think when I say that, that means I don't want to dress well. That could not be further from the truth. When I go to a wedding, I'm just going to do me. So I always dress well. I just don't go there with the intention of trying to outshine anyone. It just happens naturally though. I mean, that's just me in general. Even outside of a wedding, I don't dress well to get noticed. I get noticed because I dress well. Two different things. You know what I mean?

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And you'd be surprised how many comments I get about guys telling me, man, you lying. You wouldn't be so serious about menswear if you weren't dressing to get noticed. And to that I reply, you just don't get it and you never get it. But anyway, back to the wedding. My goal at a wedding is to fit in, but somehow I never actually fit in because.

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there aren't that many well-dressed people at a wedding. So two things that you're going to see the most at a wedding, you're going to see a lot of navy suits with light brown shoes. And you're also going to see a lot of cheap looking light gray suits.

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with some ugly black shoes like square-toe black shoes. Yeah, those are staples at weddings. They pair them with a really dark-colored shirt. Maybe it's burgundy, maybe it's black or something like that. You know what I mean? So that's what you usually see at weddings. So of course, I'm going to stand out even when I'm not trying to stand out. So I'm not saying you should go to a wedding and not dress well. Dressing well is a sign of respect. Just don't go there with the intention of outshining people because

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It's not your day. And this is not a controversial topic, but somehow guys find a way to make it controversial anyway. It's common sense. So let's get right into it, man. What should someone wear for a wedding? So if you were my client and you told me, I have a wedding coming up, what should I wear? Let's get into it. So let's start with the suit. The suit should be a solid suit. It could be light gray, could be medium gray. It could be navy, could be charcoal.

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Those are probably the colors that I would stay with for a wedding. If you're thinking about brown, brown is definitely more casual. So I wouldn't do a brown suit. And by the way, I'm talking about a formal wedding. I'm not talking about a beach wedding or something like that. I'm talking about a regular formal wedding.

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So those four colors is where I would play in. The way that I do it personally, either wear a navy bird's eye suit or I would do a charcoal having-bone suit. And the reason why I lean on those two is because even though they're going to fit in with everybody else wearing navy, the bird's eye has a different texture. So if you up close, then you'll be able to see that the fabric is different than just a plain old navy.

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but from a distance, it looks like all the rest of the Navy suits. And the second option, which is the charcoal herringbone. Number one, not that many guys are going to be wearing charcoal. Most guys are going to be wearing Navy or light gray, like I mentioned before. So even though you are still fitting in, uh, by wearing a dark suit, you automatically going to be different because you want a different color.

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and I like having one because it's a subtle pattern once again you can't see it from a distance but you can see it from up close it's not like a stripe but still pretty classy so these are the two suits that are my go-to suits for most weddings and of course sometimes I just do a solid navy or solid charcoal but yeah those are my go-to one thing that's going to make you different from

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That's the most important aspect of a suit is the fit. Unfortunately, so many get it wrong. So if you're wearing a suit that fits you well, that's automatically going to set you apart, even though you are fitting in. So just make sure that the suit fits right, not too tight and not too baggy. If you want to learn more about how a suit should fit, go to episode 001.

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That was the very first episode. Then in the episode I broke down exactly how your suit should fit. So you can definitely check that episode out.

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The second thing to pay attention to when you're dressing up for a wedding is the shirt. If you guys are familiar with me or seen my videos, 80 to 90% of the time, I'm wearing a light blue shirt.

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It could be a plain light blue or sometimes it's a white and blue stripe. But for weddings, I always wear a white shirt. A white shirt is going to be your most formal shirt and it's perfect for a wedding. Just make sure that it's clean and ironed. Very, very important. And we're talking about a shirt that has a regular color, not a button-down color cause those are also more casual, even if it's in white.

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So you want to keep it a regular color and the color to be white. Once again, you're going to see a lot of guys wearing some crazy colors because somehow they think that wearing a plain white shirt is too boring. Dressing while it's simple, but a lot of guys make it complicated because they feel like this is too boring. You may not really want to shine, you know. But the blueprint is already there for you. All you have to do is follow it. So.

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plain white shirt always for a wedding. The third part that's also very, very important is the tie that you're going to wear to a wedding. And a lot of guys drop the ball in that department also. There are ties that are actually considered wedding ties. For example, Glen Plaid, shepherds check, and houndstooth.

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Those patterns are considered wedding ties. Doesn't mean you can't wear them outside of a wedding, but they are actually made to be worn to weddings. But if you don't have one of those, then I would advise a solid color tie, either Navy or black. So if you want a Navy suit, then I would wear a black tie. If you want a charcoal suit or regular gray suit, then you can wear the black or Navy.

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But personally, I have a Glen plaid and I have a couple shepherd check and that's what I wear to weddings. Your tie is very important. You guys have heard me mention this plenty of times. If you listen to the podcast, your tie is one of the most important parts of your outfit because your tie sits right below your face. So that's not the time to really half step and try to cut corners.

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Ties are expensive so the ones that I have, they cost me $85. They're from a brand called Kent Wang. So you can Google Kent Wang wedding ties and there should be a few options that come up. So that's my recommendation for the tie. And the most overlooked part of your outfit is going to be the shoes. And so many guys really messed this one up, man. As I said before, you're going to find guys wearing light brown shoes with their navy suits.

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That's a staple at every wedding, unfortunately. Or you're going to find a lot of guys, well, let me back it up. Most of the guys who are going to be wearing the light brown shoes with the navy suits are guys that think that they can dress. And then you're going to have other guys who hate to dress up and you can tell they're just uncomfortable. And those guys are going to be wearing square toes, black shoes with no laces. You know the ones I'm talking about. A lot of guys drop the ball when it comes to their footwear.

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So weddings, you have two options, and both of them are black. So you either want to wear a black cap to Oxford, that's my choice, or you want to wear a whole cut. And that's because both of those shoes are pretty plain. And when it comes to a wedding, it's not the time to experiment with all sorts of brogain and medallions and patterns and all sorts of craziness on your shoes, right?

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That's not the time for that. So your shoe should be plain. The plainest shoe there is is a whole cut. The black after Oxford, even though it's not a plain as a whole cut, but it's not too far behind it. I prefer the black after Oxford slightly because I like the aesthetic better, but there's really no wrong answer here. Those should be your two options. And I've definitely broken that rule in the past before I knew any better. So don't be like the old me. Wear black shoes to weddings, man.

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And I do know there's a rumor out there that black shoes don't go with Navy. I don't know who made that up, but nothing could be further from the truth, man. Sharp dude has been wearing black shoes with Navy suits for generations and that will never stop. Now socks. Typically I wear dark burgundy or dark green socks at all times. Those two colors are kind of like my trademark.

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But it's not a bad idea to wear socks that are the same color as your trousers when it comes to weddings. I'm guilty of wearing red socks to a wedding before. J in jail, I apologize. I didn't know what I was doing. I thought I did but I had no idea what I was doing. So yeah for weddings unless you're the groom stay away from red socks. I know it's the color of love or whatever but yeah, it's not your wedding bro. So

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blade safe and wear the same color as your trousers or something that's really dark. But even in my case, like I said, I wear dark green or dark burgundy, but those are plain socks, no stripes or anything like that. So just to recap, you want to wear a plain suit, solid color suit, and the colors that I recommend light gray, medium gray, charcoal gray, navy.

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Shirt, only one option, plain white shirt. Your tie should be a wedding tie, which is a Glen plaid, houndstooth, or shepherd's check. Your shoes should always be black, and the style of shoe should be a plain capital oxford, or a whole cut, and the socks should be the same color as your trousers, or if you wanna, you know, have a little bit of fun, subtle fun.

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You can wear a dark color like burgundy or green. Just make sure it's plain.

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So this is the part of the podcast that I like to call I Got A Story To Tell. And this one is funny as hell, man. I was telling the guys, my membership, I was like, oh man, I just realized I haven't told this story on the podcast, so let's get to it, man. So I moved here from Haiti for good in 1991. I was a sophomore in high school, and my family stayed behind in Haiti, and I was living at my cousin's.

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So shout out to Thor, Square, and Rest In Peace to Carl. So yeah, staying with my cousins. And one of my uncle, what is not my uncle, is my mom's cousin, so like an older cousin. He took me shopping one Sunday. He was like, yo, let's go to the mall. I'm going to buy you some shoes. I was like, oh, that's what's up, man, you know? I don't know what I was rocking at that time.

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But my cousins and I, even though they had a lot of sneakers and stuff, we don't wear the same size. So, um, I was due for some new sneakers. And, uh, when I first got here for good, I didn't have all my shots yet. So I moved in in November of 1991, and I didn't go to school until a couple of days before Christmas, like December. So anyway, long story short, I wasn't in school yet.

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So it wasn't really a big deal. But school was fastly approaching. So he's like, he's going to take me to go get some sneakers. So I'm like, yeah, let's do it. I'm like very appreciative, you know? So we go through a mall, we go to Foot Locker. And at this time, well, since I was younger, really, I've always been into fashion. So even when I was growing up in Haiti, like my sneakers and those things were very important to me. So when I moved to the States,

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You know, I'm looking at Jordans and stuff, but my cousins, they didn't rock Jordans. They were more into Assics, New Balance, and those type of sneakers. So I wanted to follow in my cousin's footsteps at that point. So he took me to the mall. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to get me some Assics or New Balances or whatever. So I'm looking at this Assics and they're like $89. And we'll call him my uncle. We'll take it. Is that my uncle? My uncle's trying to talk me into some $50 shoes.

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I don't remember exactly what they were, but he was like, you should get those. I was like, nah, I don't really want those, man. I want these Assics. And I'm trying to be low-key. There were some other shoes I wanted that were around like $120, $129 or whatever, but it's not my money, you know what I'm saying? So I'm like, yeah, these right here is A6, $89. Those are the ones that I want.

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So I had to convince him to buy me those. He really tried to talk me into those other shoes. That cost $49.99 or whatever, right? So long story short, I bought the Assics. And I was very excited. I was like, yeah, I'm going to kill him when the school starts. Right? All right, so, you know, tell him thank you. I was so happy he got me those shoes. You know, I couldn't thank him enough. You know, he dropped me back at my cousin's house. And yeah, so that was the end of the story.

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Well, end of that part of the story. Until a week later, I'm speaking to my mom. Once again, my family's still in Haiti at the time. So I'm speaking to my mom on the phone. And so we're talking for about five minutes. And then she goes, cause my mom is definitely the type, if you don't tell her thank you about something, she's going to remind you, like, how come you didn't say thank you? You know? So she goes, how come you didn't tell me thank you? I'm like, thank you for what?

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She goes, thank you for the sneakers. I'm like, what sneakers? She goes, I gave my cousin $100 to get you a pair of sneakers. Did Andy take you? Ha ha.

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Yo bro

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So that wasn't even bro's money man. He tried to get me $50 shoes so he can pocket another 50 bro. Yo, this is a true story man. I was like, wait, what? That was your money? I'm like, yo, he never mentioned you or anything. Well, yeah man, shout out to my...

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to my uncle, dude tried to do me dirty. But yeah, he shall remain nameless, but yeah. Shout out to him. So thanks for tuning in for number 38, which is how to dress for a wedding as a guest and come back again next week for another fire episode of I'm Not A Gentleman. Peace!

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